Nothing to report

Well - apart from the updated costs. And I had to correct my maths.
I always seem to update this in the wee small hours so maybe I'm a bit slapdash.
So, to update: car running okay. Still smells oily. Must check oil levels.
PS bought a rear windscreen wiper from a 99p shop. In fact two complete wiper arms cost 99p so a little judicious trimming of one blade saved a bit. It was a bit fiddly but the blade fitted and I have a spare for the front should I need it.

It's all going terribly well

Obviously, saying it's going well invites the wrath of Aarac (the god of breakdowns), but so far, touch vinyl, the car is behaving itself.
It's still got a lingering whiff of overheating or burning oil though the temperature gauge doesn't go up very far. Perhaps it just needs a jolly good wash.
I've updated the costs table (see right) and we have a new 'flash' which shows you the headline all-up costs per mile or kilometre (kilometer?).
Just in case you struggle with mixed measures, my mother-in-law has a couple of mnemonics to help...

A litre's nearly three foot three, it's longer than a yard you see.

Three and a quarter feet of jam weigh about a kilogram.

See? Easy isn't it?

Good news: Bad news

I quick post to say I've had my first couple of weeks of modest motoring.
I don't think it's just me who feels as if being able to hop in the car and drive down to B&Q or pick up the dog from the vet's is a reasonable aspiration. But at what cost?
I remember my A level economics teachers saying one day "I've been working it out and there's no way I can afford to run my car...but I have to." And he did.
Well, I just updated the costs on the table (see the link on the right) and it's not quite what I expected.
It works out that I've done around 382 miles on a tank of petrol. That sounds OK. A tank is around 10 gallons so it's about 38 mpg! Actually it's nearer to 9.46 gallons so that's 40.3mpg. Waaaayyyyyy!
Then comes the bad news.
When you add all the fixed costs of motoring for the year (including purchase price) the costs begin to be a bit more realistic. Incidentally, you can do your own calculations by following the useful links on the right.
Petrol prices are, of course, extortionate - half of the cost is tax (but then, why not?) - so the cost per mile is actually high.
You also have to add in the cost of the car. In this case, I reckon on it depreciating completely over two years so my annual cost included half of the purchase price plus all the annual costs like insurance.
Anyway, as I conclude, the car is costing about £40 a week or £2080 a year. Which, if you only pay standard rate tax means you have to earn £2600 to pay for it. If you're paying tax at 40% that's more like £3466 per annum.
For the sake of balance I should look at the alternatives such as rail and bus travel. And, in the future, I'm planning to look at the environmental impact.
For the time being....it's a heck of a lot of money...

Another new start

I'm a bit behind schedule here so I need to update what happened post-Fiat.
The 'new' car is from another garage and was bought rather hastily. Hence it being somewhat older and slightly more expensive. It may be called 'Max' because of its registration plate.
But the logic was that it looked clean, it had no mysterious dents or stains and...it has power steering! This (in theory) means that my wife will be able to, maybe even want to, drive it. For short distances, a smaller engine is supposed to reach its efficient operating temperature more quickly and therefore be more economical.
Silvery and reminiscent of a previous Corsa I owned, this car seemed to be okay. At least in comparison to the Fiat Seicento, it went (and way more than 3,000 rpm) and has more space inside. I have some affection for these cars, but the last one I traded in because I bought a longed for Alfa....(*sniff*).
Anyway, moving on. There was nothing wrong with the previous Corsa except that it had no air conditioning and the steering was heavy. Well, aircon is a cost (it impacts on fuel and, I think, is probably not good for polar bears). I might have to check that last point.
This car has, at least, solved one of those problems and the weather in the UK has solved the other. It's chilly.
All this brings me to the 'but'. The car was a bit reluctant this morning; it sounded like one cylinder was misfiring. It warmed up and was okay.
A more niggling thing is that when I first took it for a long run I stopped only to notice a wisp of smoke from the bonnet. It turned out to be some oil dropping onto the hot exhaust under the engine. The chap at the garage (let's call him Clarabel...see previous posts) said it was probably spillage form where the oil was changed and topped up. Mmmm.

I was getting a bit worried when the inside seemed to smell persistently of oil and then my 12 year old genius pointed out the new car mats I'd bought (£9.99 from Poundstretcher...needs to be added to the costs page). They are rubber with carpet insets and smell like...well, rubber of course...and oil.

Rest in Peace

Well, there's a turn up.
The tin can died on the operating table. It was a bit touch and go for a while and I had spent more time without the car than with it, even though I owned it.
No-one could find out what was wrong. It could have been the cylinder head, but that was checked and pressure tested. It may have been the ECU - but to replace that costs around 1/3 the value of the car.
I'll give the garage their due, they offered me my money back - no question of me asking or them haggling.
I now have to cancel the insurance and get a refund on the tax disc. So I'll update the money page. And of course, I have still to find a car.
So, as they say at the end of the Apprentice...the search continues.

Another judgement day

Well, to update you, the mechanic (Moira) has "cleaned up the sensors" whatever that means.
Guess what? The problem was still there.
So back to the Fiat forum to ask for advice.Put simply, they collectively suggest 'hooking it up to a diagnostics machine'. Sadly I now know that the car doesn't have a socket to do so (at least that's what Moira says).
But the problem persists.
Tomorrow then is a showdown as Moira has suggested the car (which has no name - though my sons have started calling it "the tin can") needs a new 'throttle body'. What is a throttle body? See this scary picture from Wikipedia.
It seems this bit controls the air/fuel mix and it also has (depending on the car) bits of electrickery to tell other bits of the engine what it's doing.
Now I recall reading (in the handbook I think) that the Seicento is fitted with some kind of device to stop you over-revving the engine. Maybe this is it!
The showdown? Well, I'm going to have to tell the garage that the car is undrivable on roads over 40mph (and is therefore dangerous) and so, if this doesn't fix it...they'll have to take it back!
Watch this space.

Update - the mysterious horse thief

OK. Here's a quick update.
Pretty much as soon as I bought the car I took it to Kwikfit. They offer all kinds of free assessments and they did so. They were surprised there were no 'advisories'  on the MOT (there weren't, they show up on the certificate) but they said -

• Rear tyres coming to the end of their life
• Rear shock absorbers 'weeping' (sounds so sad)...who knows when they will need replacing?

Total estimated cost, a shade under £400. Needless to say I thanked them and drove off.
I guess I may be able to use this as a negotiating point?
So I drove the car a bit. Took my two young sons camping (fun, since you ask) which was a squeeze even for the three of us with a tent, food and necessary equipment.
But I encountered a problem. The car which has no name won't rev over 3000rpm.
For non technical people like me, this feels terminal.
It's a relatively big engine (57bhp I'm told) for a body the size of a dishwasher. So, naturally, you expect it to be a bit nippy. When you put the pedal to the cord carpet though, it whizzes up to 3000 revs (obviously by this time I've changed up from 1st to 2nd) and then does an impression of a souffle when the door is opened.
It doesn't feel like 57 horses (broken or not) but more like an asthmatic pit pony giving up on life.
The result is that, at about 40mph, you get the feeling the chain has fallen off your bike. As you can imagine this can be disconcerting when much larger (ie all) vehicles are around you and charging up your hatchback.
To be fair I called the garage and they were very willing to "have a look".
Beforehand though I sought online help from the Fiat Owners Forum (yes there is one) and from www.justanswer.com which I found by searching with a very literal description of what was wrong with my Fiat.
This enabled me to ask intelligent questions like - "Could you hook it up to your diagnostics machine?" - of the mechanic (who I will call Moira, just because I can).
Moira said, yes, no problem. So I left the car with them for the weekend.
Now, what do you think will happen...

New readers start here

Here are the basics.
I was searching for a little, cheap car to get me to work occasionally and to do the odd school run. I'd sold a far more expensive car (let's not go into that) and started looking on Motors (where I sold the previous on), Autotrader and similar sites including Ebay.
I was aiming at under £1000, a small(ish) engine and a low insurance group.
This car was on Ebay - a classified ad from a local dealer and was listed at £795 with 65,741 miles (I was going to say "on the clock" but just stopped myself in time). One careful owner; and six others with behavioural and social "issues" - of which more later.
So a few days ago I went to have a look.
Condition report...
It runs and starts okay! But what do I know? It's not overly powerful with the usual slightly sloppy feel of the major controls of a small, old car.
I've likened the gear change to a stick in a bucket of cogs; just stir until you get something usable.
Electric windows work,central locking too. Not too much in the way of gadgets so not much to go wrong. But there is an alarm which is obviously fitted by a previous owner and seems to demand a mysterious ritual to arm and disarm without giving neighbours the impression that they have five minutes to reach their nuclear shelter.
It has alloy wheels which seem in good condition. I like these because I detest plastic wheel covers, especially when they fly off on the motorway.
The paintwork is, well, mostly there. It has a series of scratches on the nearside which look like a grizzly bear admired the finish. There's a patch under the driver's door handle which is completely missing. My guess a previous owner couldn't quite hit the keyhole (possibly after a few drinks).
The front nearside wing has some rather attractive wrinkles (I call them laughter lines) just near the front pillar.
To go with the drinking habit, at least one owner was a smoker. Since I don't smoke, I do feel as if I'm passively inhaling well-rotted tobacco residue and therefore need to keep the sunroof (oh, yes, a sunroof) open as often as possible. This is known as air-conditioning.
Having tried it out and considered the difficulty of getting around to other cars and how depressing this process is, I decided to start negotiations.
The result was; I paid £700 on the condition it was serviced and had a full year's MOT...and it was cleaned.